freedom of words take an eternity...

It makes me wonder what love really is, you know, being single... you have your Agape and Eros etc... but does that really define the meaning of what you feel for someone?

i mean, i cannot honestly say i've experienced love, because love to me is unconditional, and when you feel so secure and content with whoever your other half is that your free:) but at the same time, people claim to love in every relationship, and have many relationships, so is it always love? or is it something else, a kind of trick of the mind... it annoys me so much to think that you maybe never will ever find someone who you can outright say 'i love you' to, because in a way it is so easy to say, so how do you know they mean it, and they arent just saying it to keep you quiet?

well, im not bothering to search so to speak... i will let 'love' find me:)

i also think karma + fate have a big part to play when it comes to love, i mean the moment you set eyes on someone and have that connection, its fate that brought you there isnt it? or after such a horrible time in your life, karma will always pay you back with something positive and creative to keep you balanced..

so yeah... thats my opinion :)

apologies...

i would like to apologise for the painful lack of blog, a lot of occurrences have occurred so to speak...

so yes, as my title suggests, freedom of words take an eternity.. let me explain.. you can never say the correct thing, your honest opinion, without criticism right? unless what you are saying is understood in the correct manner, you can never get away with saying something slightly controversial. a good example of such a thing would be something my fellow peers experienced just the other night. a girl with an oddly murderous sense of humour posted dead baby jokes all over a social networking site. the uproar that followed was tremendous, some found it highly amusing, others were offended in the extreme. i personally was rather offended, due to the fact that in total i should have 9 other siblings, to which i dont, may they rest in peace wherever they may be, so i chose to ignore the comments, as this may not be my sense of humour, but it clearly entertains others, enough said. another issue that has been griping at me is a certain group of two- faced individuals, deciding to be vindictive and harsh, by kicking a member of there posse out. this member has done nothing wrong, and everything was fine before the dead baby joker invited the Dragon into the group, after all, 5's a crowd? i notice a pattern emerging. anyways, i do not want to fall into their cliche - the keyboard warrior:)

on a brighter subject i suppose, i wanted to write about my new found group of Brilliance, in fact here, that is what i shall call them... Brilliance.

Joe, Andrew, Aaron,Tom and my bestest pal Ryanna!

Brilliance understand each other, look out for each other and we are generally like a family - band of brothers almost!

we can be totally honest with one another, which i love, and they accept me for being me, in all my madness!

enough sentimental crap!!!!!!!

another thing i didnt realise how much i could learn to appreciate is the powerhouses of friends i have behind me, i nearly always ggo solo, but in recent years i needed something, something i didnt realise was already there, friends that genuinely looked out for me, not two-faced cows, that as far as im concerned can carry on chewing the cud, and have a manky farmer pull on their udders ;)

okay, im going sentimental again.

Ryanna Bean.. how can i say this? um.. THANK YOU SO MUCH MAYBE???? and to your mum and dad, thank you for being much closer than across the path to me, for holding me up when i thought i was sinking fast :/ thank you for believing in me from day one, thank you for trusting me enough to open up to me, thank you for being the best friend i have in this hovel! thank you for keeping all those secrets i slip to you, thank you for being a rock! also, thanks for being a little bit crazy to make me feel a bit normal! thank you for helping me realise i dont paticularly need a lad in my life at the minute.

Holly Rebecca Village... you legend! you crazy motherfucker?!?!?! i loooooooove you so much, thank you for allowing me to trust you, and tell you my history! i feel honoured that you trust me too! thank you for understanding me like none other, and wooo to our eye-communication thingy ;) we have said so much by saying so little! haha! thank you for having my back always, thank you for being my depressed, crazed little sister (who is older than me?) thanks honey :) much love!

Kayleigh Lauren? you know me well enough to know that we have an unspoken understanding, a kind of eternal thing :) sisters right? HELL YEAH! you amazing little martyr! stand strong baby, for when im not there! <3

yeah.

so, on that bombshell...

words escape too quick to catch, like water slips from your fingers and falls by the pull of gravity. words are an amazing, powerful thing.. but also a painful, destructive dangerous thing. the beauty of it is almost too much, and that my fellows, is why i enjoy talking so much... expressing myself in a way so common to others, language is a beautiful wondrous thing... Embrace it, Love it, Live it.

bye for now :)